Acceptance

Acceptance!  What does that mean?  What have I learned about acceptance, and am I willing to “accept” what I am learning about acceptance and practice that? 😏

So I know accepting people does not itself mean agreeing with them, approving of them, waiving your own rights, or downplaying their impact upon you. You can still take appropriate actions to protect or support yourself.  Or the other option is you can simply let people be. Either way, you accept the reality of the other person. Or do you?  

Well, you may not like it, you may not prefer it, you may feel sad or angry about it, but at a deeper level, you are at peace with it; and if you are, that alone is a blessing. And sometimes, your shift to acceptance can help things get better. I have a new understanding that “peace” doesn’t mean that everything is ok, and there are no problems, struggles, conflicts, frustrations, anger etc.. in your life-  In my perspective, “peace” is not the absence of trouble, “peace” simply is knowing God is right there with you in the midst of the trouble. So I practice “peace” while I’m learning to “accept” people as they are. 

The other day I was asked how much I like it when I feel that another person accepts me completely. “It’s a beautiful gift”, I said- in return, the response was “we can give that same gift to others when we accept them and it might improve my relationship with them if that person felt I accepted him or her fully.  I was speechless- which is very very rare for me.

Then I was asked:  What if someone were judging me and not accepting me? How would I feel? ANNOYED! I said quickly, and a little bit sad, hurt and maybe angry?

Then how about look for the positive?  Well, I try to look for the positive, and it becomes harder when I see the negative so much-  or is it because that’s what I choose to focus on? Hmmmm?  I ponder at the thought when I was told “not accepting others is a result of seeing the negative in me”. I beg to differ my friend- lol 😜  but I’m understanding it more clearly…. instead of focusing on why someone is different, I’m going to TRY and focus on what’s good about that person.  This is going to take A LOT of practice!  Maybe I can start by focusing on their eyes, or their smile, their voice, something that I like about them, and maybe even talk about something they love or are passionate about.  That will definitely let me see them in a positive way, and it will change their demeanor/poise as well as mine.  My way to solve things is not always the best one (even though at times, I really believe I know my way will solve it) 😉 –  maybe it will solve it, but I can’t intrude and instill my way– maybe that person needs to experience their journey & solve it in their way, in their own time.  Maybe, just maybe, their way will work out and that’s the lesson I needed to learn?

As we learn that you can still disagree with someone while accepting them fully; we can practice “accepting ourselves” first, and focusing on self-approval.

I know I can just “listen” when someone is in need-  this is a priceless gift you can give anyone. Maybe that’s all the other person needs, is someone to listen to them- with compassion and without interruption.  They are not looking for you to solve it, just for you to listen.  It also gives me the opportunity and shows me who they are, what their challenges are, and I can feel the empathy and hopefully we can connect.  

I forget that every person is doing the very best that they can do, under the given circumstances they are in. I shouldn’t judge to begin with, but I definitely shouldn’t judge from the outside when I have no idea what struggles they are facing and dealing with. Just because people don’t share it doesn’t mean it’s not there… some have chosen to keep it quiet.  

It’s practice, and I have my share of people who are difficult, inconsiderate, it’s all about “me” attitude, and what “they” want, and what “they” need, and what “they” are doing for me and and what I’m not doing for “them” or when they don’t like what I’m saying (because I’m not agreeing with them or feeding into the chaos), they want to get off the phone and end the conversation. My favorite is when “they” make an error, and I get blamed for it, or I get the attitude as if it’s my fault it happened.  I mean seriously???  So I have my days where I ignore all that and just listen to them, and then I have my days where I feel the need to tell them exactly how their approach or demeanor towards me is making me feel, especially if I’m feeling they are being disrespectful or speaking at me with a demeaning tone.  If I say it kindly, and share that I / we also have struggles, have bad days too, make mistakes too, maybe it’ll connect our hearts? I’m allowed to feel my feelings, regardless of what they are, so I set boundaries, that if I feel I’m being disrespected, then I will express that and will not continue the conversation when it’s in a rude tone or making me feel uncomfortable.  I can however express that I’m willing to continue our conversation, if it’s done with respect.  

As in all things in life, nothing is going to happen overnight.  I take each day as it comes, and try and make it better, and different from the day before.  I especially do not want to repeat any negativity from the day before onto today.  With practice, it becomes a habit, a healthy habit vs. continuing the bad habits that get us no where.  We have to start somewhere, right? 

I love these 3 quotes that I remind myself several times a week- now if we can all practice this, there sure will be changes made in our lives. 🙏

“If nothing changes, nothing will change”

“For things to change, things have to change”

“Maybe it needs to start with me

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21 day challenge?

It’s normal to wish that others were different, just like it’s normal to wish that you, yourself, were different (e.g. thinner, richer, prettier, wiser). It’s fine to try to influence others in a skillful, ethical, and loving way, but not when it’s malicious, manipulative and controlling the situation.  

It’s been a hard lesson for me these past 2 years to know I can’t change people, all I can do is love and accept them-  Uh?  Really? I can’t change them?  No I can’t, I am powerless, and to want to change them is to control them, and I have no control over anyone but myself… but I still sometimes think “can people change”?  Maybe, maybe not. I know  we can change “behaviors”, and if we can change our behavior, then we are changing a habit.  Like they say, do something for 21 days and you’ll create a habit-

So with New Year’s around the corner, I’m thinking a lot about what new “habit” I want to create that will better my life, my day to day thinking, my living, the people I surround myself with.  

Want to take the 21 day challenge with me?  It’ll be hard, but that’s why they say, it take 21 days. So be patient with yourself.  What new “habit or habits” are you thinking about creating for the New Year in 2016?

Waiting Patiently

So the past 2 years I’ve been in a program of what I call a spiritual and loving program.  I’ve met people who I can relate to, and who relate to me- They have either gone or are going through similar experiences – Words can’t explain how much I love this program, and the incredible, amazing people I’ve met through this journey…well it’s simply unbelievable.  I’ve learned a lot from this program and the people I’ve met– and I continue to learn a lot from them, about them, about myself and life.  They are examples of who I was, who I am, and who I can and want to be.  

Even though there are hundreds of people in this program that I’ve met, I have made some “personal” friends that I cherish and love deeply.  

For me personal friends is not the same as acquaintances.  Personal friendship to me is sharing your personal life on a regular basis, you confide in them, you trust them, you call them to vent, you socialize with them regularly, you can be your authentic self and they put a smile on your face just by hearing their name. I’m always laughing when I am with them, and I always have a good time. I truly mean this, there’s never a dull moment, and if there is, we are laughing at how dull a moment is or was  😂

These are friends that I can’t imagine not knowing or having in my life because my life is so much richer now.  How is that possible?  I thought my life was as prosperous as can be with the people that I have, had, and know– it was all of that and it is still is, but now I have “more” of that wealth.  I can tell you one thing, that I finally feel at “home” after living in the South Bay for 12 years.  Interesting how that happens.

Well, all of my family and my close best friends are an hour away drive, that’s not so bad, right? It wasn’t in the beginning, but then it did get difficult to do that 3x-4x a week at the end of a long work day, or on a weekend where all you want is not to be in your car- so it was an adjustment to go from a 10 minute drive before I moved to the South Bay, to 1 hour drive in heavy traffic to meet up.  Our socializing decreased due to that, and I felt like I had to start over and adjust to my new surroundings, my new way of life with out being so near and dear to my loved ones.  

Nevertheless, I have a new perspective on my life now, and I have a beautiful and loving God. He knew exactly when to bring this program and these “angels” in my life.  A time where I really needed it the most-  I have a hard time always “accepting” God’s time and not be in “my time” (talk about me having an ego, lol), however I couldn’t have planned it better–  He knew I wasn’t ready before, that I wouldn’t have taken this new path seriously- and in particular, I may have not met the people that I know and LOVE so much had I started this program earlier than I did.  

So it’s all about timing.  God’s timing?  Yes, it’s the perfect time, and I know that, I’ve seen the things that have happened in “his” time and know deep inside that it was the perfect time.  God’s timing is never a second late. When I pray, I make sure to ask God to give me patience to wait on his timing, and first and foremost, to “accept” his timing. God is still working on my behalf, in the meantime, I need to be calm, trust and have faith while I’m waiting for “his time”.  What’s that saying, good thing come to those who wait, right? or nothing worth having will come easy~ Will Smith.  I guess they don’t call it labor of love for no reason.

So with all that said, I may still have a hard time waiting for God’s timing in other area’s of my life, and that’s ok, that’s where I remind myself to continue to practice patience, which is part of our everyday life and immensely needs the most practice.   It works, if you work it. 😉

Reason to worry?

No reason to worry about anything?  How easy is it to live & practice that?  For a lot of us, it is extremely difficult, a foreign concept, an unheard of concept.  Could it be less difficult if we practice living it one day at a time- Maybe that is a foreign concept too.  But what does it mean to live “one day at a time”?  

Well, tomorrow and the future is going to happen, there is nothing we can do about it, right?  So why waste our time and our precious being by worrying about something we absolutely have no power or control of over.  Sure it’s easier said than done, but if we used all of our time worrying about something that may or may not happened tomorrow, and then tomorrow comes, and it still happened, what then?  Did our worrying helped the situation at all?  No of course not, it only helped us be stressed, have anxiety, make our day dark, and gloomy, and not enjoying anything… but yet we continued to use that time we had worrying, and being in despair.

So why then do we repeat the same behavior of worrying over and over again.  That’s where I like the saying:  “Today is the tomorrow, you were worried about yesterday”.  99% of the time, what we thought was going to happen, doesn’t, or if it does, it’s not as bad or catastrophic as we imagined it to be. That’s where I am learning to feed into faith and not fear, because it is a choice, you have the option to feed into the fear, or trust and have faith that it’s all going to work out the way it’s suppose to and it is going to be okay.

You see fear is a spirit, it is alive and strong, but fear isn’t sent by God.  Fear is not a God spirit, but love, faith, trust, belief are all God spirits and they are always there for us to choose from. Knowing that, I catch myself when I go into fear, and I remind myself, “this isn’t from God, choose the spirits that God gives us, “faith, trust, belief, love”- again, all easier said than done, but practice makes perfect, right? I find some days I’m successful at this and other times I find myself struggling… but we just have to train ourselves each day, like we would train ourselves to do a marathon-  We can’t expect to run a 26 mile marathon with out months of training before hand, right?   So trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.  Try it, what do you have to lose?

Blessings!

🙏        

love yourself

Why is it so hard to love ourselves?  A foreign concept to many- myself included…. I would be lying if I were to say I love myself completely, there’s still doubt that comes here and there, but I’m determined to get back to loving myself again, and I know now more than ever, how important it is to love  yourself-

I can think of so many reasons why you should love yourself, but here’s just one: It is incredibly dull and uninspiring to be around people who do not love themselves. So learn to love yourself and don’t ever let anyone keep you from the pursuit of happiness that you’re entitled to.

Identify something about you that you may not adore and find a way to at least laugh at it or like it, even a little bit.  Do things that inspire you daily- make a list of things that you can do today to make you feel good-

Oh and one more thing, do not let career counselors fool you—you do not need to know what you want to do right now. Your career path will span, oh, about 40 years, so there is a lot of time to experiment, so try new things 😉

 

Take Care of You

Be selfish when it comes to your happiness, I don’t mean if it hurts other people (i.e. stealing, lying, being deceptive). I mean to be selfish when other people rob you of the opportunity to be happy. Know and believe you’re appreciated!  😘

being part of nature makes life so exciting

Thank you for showing me/us a new way of doing things differently, seeing things differently and loving and embracing our difference! 💗💗💗

livingthroughtheheart

i’m just like a tree, a flower…i’m just a creature living in nature that god created.  a tree gives us oxygen, shade, beauty. it can be a home to the owl, the sparrow, the squirrel, the nest…and does it ever ask for thanks, does it ever want more? it stands there in acceptance of the storm and in faith that the sun will rise.  it’s happy to be alive.

i’m just like a tree.  i’m so happy to be alive.

and every tree is different

just as god made each of us different.  when i truly embrace our differences, i begin to experience mystericles.  because isn’t it the mystery of not knowing what the other is thinking or doing, that makes our lives so exciting?  isn’t it the fact that on top of being born different, we also grew up in environments completely and totally in contrast to the other, that makes…

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